I am a horrible racist...and I think everyone else is too.

Not going to be a long post. Just wanted to congradulate the Black population for voting for Obama en masse. Way to continue segregating yourself by showing the world that you will in fact largely vote the same as everyone else with your skin color (and in this case, also vote FOR the same color).

While I am at it, I want to applaud the black folks in my office for having segregated lunches. Rosa Parks would be proud.

*slow clap*

So long as groups of people continue to act in kind with other people of their same "race", and then forcefully put themselves in situations where they socialize with people based on color, racism will never go away.

Romance, I spit on you!

So, someone where I work just got engaged. And I hear the retelling of how it happened, and how sweet and romantic it was. And all I can think is “This is why women end up in shitty relationships.”

Ladies, being romantic is not hard. Coming up with a cool way to propose (having the waiter bring the ring on a platter) is easy…because someone already came up with that years ago. Frankly, I am surprised some guy hasn’t published a book full of romantic things for other guys to do so they can get laid (another idea someone will steal from me).

Romance is a fake thing. And how romantic a guy is, at best, an indicator of how much work he will do to impress a woman. Romance is NOT an indicator of compatibility. Sadly, I think since women swoon over romance, romance can replace or interfere with compatibility.

Take joking. If I learn a joke, and later tell it, that doesn’t make me funny. The person who created the joke is funny. I just memorized it. But, some people get away with simply regurgitating other people’s materials, but rarely coming up with their own jokes or timing or rhythm. But they end up getting credit for being a funny person. Romance is like that. A romantic guy, gets credit for being a good boyfriend, without having to actually be a good boyfriend.

The main reason I bring this up, is because when I hear women talk about their boyfriends/spouses, they rarely talk about how great it is that their man always takes out the trash, or works hard to provide, or is a great father. But, on Valentine’s day (a rant is coming about that, don’t you worry) when the guy coughs up some flowers and candy, the woman gushes about how wonderful he is. HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING!!! Romance is something that was concocted (honestly, probably by a man trying to get laid) but has no actual value aside from what women give it.

And for the record, I actually like being romantic. And I do it spontaniously...random acts of kindness...singing love songs, writing poems, buying thoughtful gifts. But I don’t like how much weight women give it. Especially when they give it more weight than the actual important things in a relationship.

Florida...WTF is wrong with you?!

I am so sick of my state voting crap into our constitution. It seems to be so easy to do so, that they do it for any old thing. Worse, since you apparently don't need the help of anyone that really KNOWS anything, that means stuff gets voted on without the benefit of, youknow, THOUGHT!

I have been thinking about trying to put something in our constitution where every Floridian will get a free monkey. Or an amedment that will force any strippers in the state to go door to door and give lap dances.

In the end...don't force things on the whole state unless they belong there. A property tax thing...which also effects local goverment but gives them no way around it, is stupid. Worse, you saved me at best 200 bucks. But you cost my county and city MILLIONS of dollars. Honestly, I think cities should make a point, and cut that money from schools. That way it would get immediate coverage and hopefully get undone (like our stupid Bullet Train ammendment).

Every day, I think more and more like Professor Blight...humanity is too dumb to live.

From the desk of Professor Blight

The poor. What pests they are. Their neediness and drain on society. I don’t mean those that are down on their luck. I mean the chronically poor. Those who have no desires or means to really produce much for the world. Or worse, simply take more than they produce.

In my city, they cannot vote. One must own land or a home to vote. This is an attempt to take power from the poor. “Why?” you may ask. I do not wish for the poor to influence society. The poor tend to simply push for government to supplement their lives, to make up for their shortcomings. And by doing so, insure that their poorness passes on. This is not something that I, or even nature’s design, wishes to see happen.

Don’t take me as heartless. We have programs to help people back on their feet. Charities. But we monitor them closely. The thought of someone’s donated money being shoveled down a hole, that is some lazy piece of meat, sickens me. The world is full of people who want to work, and work hard, and make intelligent choices with their funds. When one of those people falls, they should be lifted back up. Sadly, most of humanity has a hard time sorting those people for the others. Those people who have no skills, drive, of decision making ability. The ones who are supposedly struggling to make ends meet, yet they have cable TV and a cell phone. Do we really want to prop up the kind of being who can hardly fend for themselves, yet sees fit to bring children into the world, usually repeatedly?

I suppose I shouldn’t fret much. It won’t be long until I have isolated the various genes that make humans weak and stupid. From there it will be a small mater to devise a plague to wipe them all out.

Chapstick for other lips

Ok, the previous post spawned a rather horrible, yet possibly lucrative idea. My use of the word "Chapped" in regards to the vagina sparked an idea...Chapstick for vaginas. This product would serve (it turns out, after much talk with female friends) many purposes. I would like to thank them, as I know so little about the female body (which any past girlfriend will tell you) that I didn't realize the full ramifications of my proposed product.

Not only can said chapstick be used to eleviate the chapped-ness, but its basic shape (larger than original chapstick) could be used for more pleasurable activities. Add in the various flavored variants, and now a lady's male friend can join in on the fun! Some flavors (such as pepermint) may also work as a stimulant.

And just think of the ads! I plan to have that bearded guy from the Kaboom commercials do it. Imagine, him holding new ladies only chapstick, shouting exuberantly: "Not only can this product eleviate dryness, but with a few quick twists on the bottom , it becomes a friend for your lonely friday night. Act now, and we'll throw in cherry and spearment absolutely free!"

With a built in purchasing group of the many of post menopause women who suffer from this, and the propensity for people to become addicted to chapsick, I am shitting on a gold mine!!!! I can't wait to help with quality control testing...

Random thing I wrote in an email

This came about in an email exchange with a friend of mine. She and I were discussing writing a stroy where you describe all characters in hyper sexual ways (good and bad), but never have sex things actually happen. For some reason, I am proud of this.

So, a male lead might walk in and you describe him thusly:
The man walked into the office, as he had done so every day for years. This man was so bereft of masculinity, that being in the same room with him cause other men to become temporarily impotent, and women in the building made regular visits to their gynecologists, complaining of chapped vaginas. He set about his daily routine of spreadsheets and emailing.

Go Geek-chic, I choose you!

The time of the Geeks is here! At least I see it that way. Now, let me start off by telling you what I think a geek is/isn’t. A geek is someone who is a fan of: Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Comics, Video Games, Technology, Gaming (miniatures, board, RPG, etc), Anime/Cartoons, or some combination. Geeks are not necessarily nerds or dorks (but often are). Nerds are those who find entertainment in academics (often math and/or science) to a high degree. Dorks are like socially or physically awkward folks. You know, that guy who has a stupid lagh and doesn’t know it. Or that lady that dances funny. Now, often these can overlap, and thus you get stereotypes that Geeks are also nerds or dorks. But I have known geeks that are highly lacking academic merit or are not in any way awkward. And I know quite a few non-geeks who are very academic or awkward (it actually surprises me how many dorks there are who aren’t geeks, yet geeks get labeled that way).
Now, why is it the time of the geeks? Look around you…all the biggest movies are typically geek movies. And there are tons of them! Comic book movies, Sci-Fi, Fantasy. The big TV shows are all geek fair. Heroes, Lost, Chuck…and things Like Dr. Who actually becoming popular!
Video games are out selling DVD’s! And things like the Wii and DS as well as Guitar Hero/Rockband are bringing gaming to the main stream. The stigma attached to RPG-ing is fading.
Anime is booming for kids, which often means parents who wouldn’t normally watch it, are. And those kids are getting into manga, which lives next door to comics.
Technology is hip. iPods, iPhones, Google, Wikipedia, blogs…all huge…and growing. And there are generations of kids that are growing up with these interests as normal, not some basement activity that you can’t talk about in school.
Geek Conventions are starting to get over crowded. And I see more and more “normal” people there, when it used to be dominated by overweight sweaty guys.
The downside is that some geeks won’t like it. With any minority, there are those that got into it because they either didn’t fit in or didn’t want to fit in with the main stream. They liked their interests being obscure. It set them apart. Made them special. This can be seen as rumors of Dragon-Con splitting and forming a more “hardcore” convention for the “real” fans. They don’t like sharing a Star Trek panel with some soccer mom who doesn’t see the point in debating who was a better captain (it was Picard BTW).
And to be honest, when it comes, I will miss getting weird looks at a luncheon when someone mentions that I play video games at 33, or trying to explain to someone what role-playing is. But I also know that I will be on top. I will be one of the cool kids. Because when the day comes that it is cool to talk about comics, that guy that has been reading them for years will have a bit of an edge on Johnny Come Lately  Also, if there does come an age of Geek-Chic, I can only hope that it will bring down the empire of sports entertainment….especially Nascar. Turning left is NOT entertainment, people.