More random Writing

The following was done as a writing prompt. The first paragraph was fed to us and the rest we filled in. I ended up doing 2 different stories. He is the short one. It's about cows!

I'm not sure when it started, exactly. It might have been with the series of reoccurring wolf nightmares, or maybe the ones where I was being chased incessantly. But at some point, I decided to wake up.

I knew the wolves would get me eventually. But my dreams had prepared me.

"Frank, you know I can hear you, right?"

I could hear their baying in the distance. Sometimes I could practically feel their hot breaths on my neck.

"There aren't any wolves around here Frank."

I had to keep moving. If I stayed too long in one place...well, I didn’t want to think about it.

"FRANK! You're narrating to yourself again!"

"What?"

"Where do you get this stuff from? You've never even SEEN a wolf. And what do you mean "keep moving"? You've been in the barn for 3 days!"

"Maybe not seen, per say, but I found some tracks around back."

"Those are Toby's tracks. You know, the Farmer's dog?"

"Maybe he's in league with the wolves."

"What WOLVES!?"

"I thought the narrator did a pretty good job of explaining that."

"That was YOU!"

"I think I'd remember taking a narration job, Charlie."

"You-...I-...grrrraaahhh!"

"Wow, this wolf thing really has you upset."

"hurgh!"

"We'll be fine. I have been taking some self defense courses. And I read where leather comes from. We're like walking leather armor!"

"GAH!"

"Maybe I can find someone to enchant me. Then I'd be, like, +2 leather armor!"

"Hey Frank. Charlie. Charlie, are you ok?"

*twitch*

"Hiya Sanders. Charlie is just upset about the wolves."

"You mean the ones the narrator was talking about?"

"The very same."

"I ordered a series of tapes on how to fight off a wolf attack. The first one only deals with a single wolf. I can't wait until I am ready to deal with a whole pack. You're lucky, wearing that leather armor like you are."

"Yeah, well you can fly...at least a little bit."

"SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU! There's no wolves, no narrator, you don’t even have the money to BUY tapes, let alone the ability to order them. I mean, what company would even SELL them?"

"Amazon.com"

"Wha--fine, fine. I can handle this. Just go along. What can it hurt? Ok Frank, tell me what I need to know to protect myself."

"Hmmm. I don't know if I qualify as a teacher. What do you think Sanders?"

"First off, Charlie, I would cover that Udder. Pretty vulnerable."

"That's not an udder."

"Wait, you're a guy? My tapes only cover women."

"Same with my classes. Can't help you Charlie."

"Frank...you're a guy too. Why do you think you only have one, and that it doesn't give milk."

"Are you sure? I just figured I wasn’t done blossoming yet. And when I find the right guy, there will be some honey making insects and various fowl, and I shall experience the great gift of bringing life, which I will feed from my burgeoning udders..."

"Don’t you ever say 'burgeoning" around me again, Frank."

"I think it’s a nice udder, Frank. It'll look good when they all come in. I bet you'll be a great mother."

"Thanks Sanders. Hey, where'd Charlie go?"

Outside

"Here wolfie wolfie wolfie! Fresh beef! Won’t even put up a fight!"

Arrested...

My buddy T.H. Elliott posted this poser.

If you saw me in a police car, what would you think I got arrested for?

Answer me, then post to your own journal.