Tuesday, February 26, 2008

/Seinfeld What's the deal with people leaving so much space at stop lights?! /seinfeld

I'm not sure how long this has been going on, but I have been noticing it more and more. People leaving HUGE gaps at stoplights. When I say huge, I mean big enough to pull into. Literally, as I have done so just to make a point. It's actually pretty satisfying to do so, and watch the gap leaver get all pissed off.

But I seriously want to know why it happens. What is the goal of leaving 10-20 feet of empty space? Does your car have personal boundry issues? Everytime I see it, it claws at my brain. I know full well that I can't espect humans to always make sense, but I figure there must be SOME reasons that at almost every light at least one person is doing this.

Help me, signed: Reallypissedofandeventuallygoingtostartkillingpeople in Tallahassee.

Monday, February 11, 2008

I am a horrible racist...and I think everyone else is too.

Not going to be a long post. Just wanted to congradulate the Black population for voting for Obama en masse. Way to continue segregating yourself by showing the world that you will in fact largely vote the same as everyone else with your skin color (and in this case, also vote FOR the same color).

While I am at it, I want to applaud the black folks in my office for having segregated lunches. Rosa Parks would be proud.

*slow clap*

So long as groups of people continue to act in kind with other people of their same "race", and then forcefully put themselves in situations where they socialize with people based on color, racism will never go away.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Romance, I spit on you!

So, someone where I work just got engaged. And I hear the retelling of how it happened, and how sweet and romantic it was. And all I can think is “This is why women end up in shitty relationships.”

Ladies, being romantic is not hard. Coming up with a cool way to propose (having the waiter bring the ring on a platter) is easy…because someone already came up with that years ago. Frankly, I am surprised some guy hasn’t published a book full of romantic things for other guys to do so they can get laid (another idea someone will steal from me).

Romance is a fake thing. And how romantic a guy is, at best, an indicator of how much work he will do to impress a woman. Romance is NOT an indicator of compatibility. Sadly, I think since women swoon over romance, romance can replace or interfere with compatibility.

Take joking. If I learn a joke, and later tell it, that doesn’t make me funny. The person who created the joke is funny. I just memorized it. But, some people get away with simply regurgitating other people’s materials, but rarely coming up with their own jokes or timing or rhythm. But they end up getting credit for being a funny person. Romance is like that. A romantic guy, gets credit for being a good boyfriend, without having to actually be a good boyfriend.

The main reason I bring this up, is because when I hear women talk about their boyfriends/spouses, they rarely talk about how great it is that their man always takes out the trash, or works hard to provide, or is a great father. But, on Valentine’s day (a rant is coming about that, don’t you worry) when the guy coughs up some flowers and candy, the woman gushes about how wonderful he is. HE DIDN’T ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING!!! Romance is something that was concocted (honestly, probably by a man trying to get laid) but has no actual value aside from what women give it.

And for the record, I actually like being romantic. And I do it spontaniously...random acts of kindness...singing love songs, writing poems, buying thoughtful gifts. But I don’t like how much weight women give it. Especially when they give it more weight than the actual important things in a relationship.