I'm not sure how long this has been going on, but I have been noticing it more and more. People leaving HUGE gaps at stoplights. When I say huge, I mean big enough to pull into. Literally, as I have done so just to make a point. It's actually pretty satisfying to do so, and watch the gap leaver get all pissed off.
But I seriously want to know why it happens. What is the goal of leaving 10-20 feet of empty space? Does your car have personal boundry issues? Everytime I see it, it claws at my brain. I know full well that I can't espect humans to always make sense, but I figure there must be SOME reasons that at almost every light at least one person is doing this.
Help me, signed: Reallypissedofandeventuallygoingtostartkillingpeople in Tallahassee.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Another good one is people trying to turn left off Monroe, downtown. I sat behind a moron who did that for two lights before I could get by her. I guess the "no left turn" sign wasn't for her.
Don't forget about the people who either pull too far beyond the line or not close enough to the line, that they don't trip the sensor, so the light never turns, then they get all upset and think the light is broken. Um, no, you're the moron who doesn't know how lights work and even worse, you don't know how to follow the rules.
I like to play a game with the people behind me. I inch up, and then they do. I inch up, then they do. I like to think that I am controlling their minds.
What drives me bonkers is the people at the stop sign at Duval and...I can't remember...that don't seem to understand that they have right of way when I want to turn. They keep waving me to turn and its just not right!
There is a special breed of overly cautious driver in Tallahassee. They wait 15 beats AFTER the arrow goes green before turning, leave big gaps between their car and others to prevent accidents, and they touch their brakes every 3 seconds, just to make sure they still work.
How to tell where a driver is from:
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston
One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone,brick on accelerator:
California
With gun in lap:
L.A.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat:
Italy
One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game:
Seattle
One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window:
Texas city male
One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road:
Texas country male
One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment:
Texas female
Both hands on steering wheel in a relaxed posture, eyes constantly checking the rear-view mirror to watch for visible emissions from their own or another`s car:
Colorado
One hand on steering wheel, yelling obscenities, the other hand waving gun out the window and firing repeatedly, keeping a careful eye out for landmarks along the way so as to be able to come back and pick up any bullets that didn`t hit other motorists so as not to litter:
Colorado resident on spotting a car with Texas plate.
Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna:
West Virginia male.
Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on:
Florida "seasoned citizen" driver, also known as "no-see-um"
People are stupid. Period.
Has your head stopped oozing? :-)
Holly
Post a Comment