You're different than me!

So, in a conversation with my friend V I started thinking about bigotry. Not just racial. Against any group. Gays, Christians, Races, etc.

What started it was talking about Gay folks. I wondered, if ALL gay people acted similar to other people of their gender, would people get up in arms as much? When you see someone on TV that's gay, they have a lisp or a high voice (for guys) or a butch haircut (the ladies). Gay pride parades have all kinds of overt sexual themes and costumes.

Now, I am well aware that these stereotypical images aren't representative of all gay people. But this is what people see and hear. It's something DIFFERENT than 'normal'. Normal being themselves of course.

So, if the gay people we usually saw on TV couldn't be differentiated from straight folks aside from them having sex with the same sex, would we care as much? If the footage from a gay pride parade just looked like the rose-bowl parade, would people freak about it? Heck, why even HAVE gay pride parades? Are their straight pride parades?

Anyway I got to thinking about human nature. When we are babies, some of the first things we start doing is learning how to differentiate things. Colors, shapes, letters, tones, sounds. Later we take that ability and start attaching value and connotation (I like blue better than red, Chocolate is tastier than vanilla, etc.).

So, why wouldn't we do that with people? We start life generally around people like us. As we progress, we start to see people of different colors. Assuming no one poisons us in telling us that people of some other color are different, I think most of us notice the difference (it's what we do) but don't judge it. Until something happens to change this.

Maybe some 'different' kid treats you poorly. Or other kids are making fun of the differences. Something negative happens. Now, sure, negative things have happened from those 'like you', but how do you filter that? You could. Maybe all the blond girls tease you. You start taking issue with blonds. That kid with the accent pushes you around, now you hate rednecks.

I really feel that we are wired to notice differences. And then we start putting evaluations on people or things that are different through experience and society. Everyone does it. Take races. Even WITHIN a race we do it. White folks have rednecks and WASPs. A more urban black guy may tell some other black guy that he isn't acting black enough because he wears a sweater vest. Gay people even have terms for various kinds of gay folk (like Bears for big hair men).

Now, I say all of this because I don't think bigotry and ever FULLY go away. I feel that humans are built to be that way. And, worse, so long as a segment of a group choose to REALLY be different, it will make the divide greater. I do think we can get to a point where people are generally cool. Heck, I think we are pretty close to that in some areas. But it really depends.

America showed that it can look past 'differences' by voting for Obama. Even those that didn't vote for him, I knew of few that didn't vote for him because of race. BUT, I really do feel that was because the only real difference between him and average white America was skin color. I you had taken the same man, but given him Jesse Jackson's voice I think we would have seen a different outcome. Because that would have made him too 'different' for white America. The same could probably be said for Clinton if he had headbanger hair.

Not sure where I was going with this. Mostly just the we need to acknowledge that this is something humans do. Our brains segment everything we see and do. Basically we ALL profile. I believe Chris Rock said something to the effect of 'Even Black people don't wanna walk down MLK blvd after dark'.

We will always find someone to blame and dislike. Whether it be skin color, nationality, religion (or lack thereof), social status, hobbies, whatever. Deal with it people. And if you choose to do things to make yourself even more different than the 'majority' you need to make sure you blame yourself as well as them.